Yesterday during Sunday school, I was having a tough time. We are beginning a study on Hosea, which is a book about a prophet who was instructed by God to marry a prostitute, then forgive her repeatedly when she returned to prostitution time and again. It's a picture of God and His bride (at the time, the children of Israel) and how she constantly turns from His love and returns to idolatry. The story shows how God continues to pursue His love even when she is a total screw up.
Seriously, people. I can't make this stuff up.
Right now I feel like I am in an epic battle to remain constantly bowed to the will of the Lord. It requires an unspeakable amount of focus. Isaiah 26:3 says, Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. When I am keeping my mind on God, I have perfect peace. When Peter was focused on Jesus, he could walk on water, but the second he took his eyes off the Lord, he was sunk.
Just like that, when I am pouring my focus on following God's will for everything I put in my mouth, I have the strength to make wise choices. HIS strength. Last night my focus slipped from the Lord to the box of Nilla Wafers by my side. And I sunk. Yes, I can have Nilla Wafers. But I can't have the whole box dunked in two glasses of milk! I seriously felt ill!
But back to the tough time in Sunday school. Sometimes I feel that Christians are too blase about their personal idolatry. I know that I have been. We like to brush over the big picture and not pay too much attention to the small stuff. We have been taught to not sweat the small stuff. But Jesus died to set us free from the small and the big stuff! The big stuff is MADE of small stuff. I didn't get this bound up in food and self worship in large, sweeping, general ways. I made little choices at a time until it became a BIG problem.
I feel broken when I am sinning. I weep when I confess my whoredom to the Lord. I am in AWE of His mercy and love.
So why, since I know I am not alone in this epic battle to bow my will to God's, do I feel like so many Christians just don't get it? We need to be real with our struggles and hold each other accountable. We need to know how to pray for one another, and sincerely DO IT.