To All the Encouragers Out There...

I don't know how I would do this without all the encouragement rolling in. What can I say? I'm a people pleaser.

Everyone has been so sweet and encouraging! I know I have a long way to go to get to my goal.

I also know this has to be a life change. There isn't really a finish line, when it comes to being fit. I have a weight loss goal, but the number isn't really my point. I am just trying to get healthy.

And then stay there.

I have been working out daily with a friend, who has been where I am today. She is such a strong woman. I wanna be like her when I grow up. She has lost the weight, and gained some back, and lost some of it again. She started out somewhere close to where I am today, so she feels my pain. She knows how every day is a struggle, what with All. The. Eating.

And All. The. Exercise.

She told me today that she doesn't want me to quit. Not that I'm thinking of it, yet. But it IS my M.O. And she knows this path well enough to know how hard it is to stick to.

And then there's my BFF. She can't go to the gym with me, because she's working all day, and when she's not at work, she still has all the duties of a mom. But she's right there with me, even when she's not. She's actually paying for my weekly shots. Okay, I'm doing something for her, so technically she's just paying me, but we both know the "why." And knowing that she's making a sacrifice because she loves me and wants me around makes me feel treasured.

So, this post is dedicated to my friends. You know who you are. You are a great encouragement to me, and I appreciate you.

Purging

Not that kind! Don't you know me at all?? I hate throwing up!

I had to purge my closet a few weeks back. My clothes began telling me what the scale wasn't willing to admit. "You're doing it!!"

So, I started pulling out the things that were hanging on me nearly as badly as they hung on the hangers. I couldn't believe how much STUFF I had in that closet!

Now my closet is much easier to tidy.

Thankfully, a sweet friend at church, who has lost most of her weight, has passed me all her fat clothes. And she was smaller that I was when I began. So now her things fit me.

Which means I don't have to go naked. Yay!

Cuz I don't want to blind anyone.

You're welcome.

How It's Done

Yesterday afternoon a lady from church called me. She said she was given my name by someone in the nursery.

I'll be hunting them down later tonight...

Just kidding. It's fine, really!

Anyhoo, she heard that I've been losing weight, and wondered what I have been doing. I told her all about the shots I'm taking, and the low carb diet I'm sorta sticking to. But she wanted details.

Here's the scoop...

When I realized that my MIC Ultra came with a recommendation for a low carb diet, I went to my local grocery store and bought a book about the new Atkins Diet. I read about the first two chapters, which I know, I KNOW you aren't supposed to do, and just figured I'd cut out bread, pasta, rice, potatoes and sugar. I don't eat much fruit, but when I do, I eat it alone. Once upon a time, I read something about that, and figured it wouldn't hurt.

The low carb way seems a lot like a list of CAN'T haves, so I made a mental list of CAN haves. Otherwise I'd go nuts.

Here's (mostly) what I eat:
Meats, eggs, veggies, cheeses, and fats.

And drink LOTS of water.

An example of a day is this:
Breakfast: Boiled eggs and sausage

Lunch: Turkey lunch meat wrapped around a cheese stick
(Sometimes I'll wrap that in lettuce)
Sliced tomatoes with a little salt
Sliced cucumber with some ranch veggie dip

Dinner: Grilled chicken
Deviled eggs
Salad of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, shredded cheddar and ranch dressing

I do cheat a bit once or twice a week. It keeps me from going bonkers. Usually on Sunday I eat out, and don't worry about the carbs. I love Mexican, so sometimes I go all out and have chips and salsa (with a sopapilla for dessert, ;-)

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

Ah, the gym.

Otherwise known as the torture chamber.

I can't say I have ever had a love affair with that place. I really don't like going. I have nothing against exercise, per se. I have more of an issue with the pain I feel as a result of my visit.

And I don't like being sweaty.

Some ladies have a nice little glisten after thirty minutes of trudging uphill on a treadmill. I, on the other hand, sweat like a pig after about ten minutes. But stick me on the elliptical and I am gasping for breath after only five.

So, why does my trainer insist that I do the elliptical with RESISTANCE??

She is out to get me.

She gives me homework. Counter-top push-ups. I have yet to do them. :-D

I am doing 30 minutes of cardio daily during the week, then 45-60 minutes of weight training. Today I lasted 20 minutes on the elliptical before I switched to the bicycle. I'm determined to kick that elliptical machine's butt.

Meanwhile, I told you my weight yesterday was 258. I forgot to mention that it was five pounds lighter than a week ago. Woohoo!

Right after my workout yesterday, I was at our local stuff-mart, and the lady behind the clipboard at the photo booth asked me to do a survey, then offered me a free picture, just to let her practice by taking my picture.

Hear this: I do NOT like my picture taken. I hide from the camera. I don't let ANYONE photograph me. Those who love me best studiously try to adhere to my wishes in this department. So you can imagine how very monumental it was that I let this tiny girl take my picture when I was STRAIGHT. OUT. OF. THE. GYM.

But I needed a "before" picture.

Who was I to argue with a semi-professional free one??

How it all Began...

Well, here goes nothin' I suppose. I'm documenting my journey, so when I'm feeling discouraged and low, I can come back here and see from whence I came, so to speak. And, if, by some miracle, I can be a blessing to another who is in my shoes later down the road, well, I'll take that, too.

My back story:

I have tried for my whole adult life to be fit, lose weight, or just get off my bee-hind and get moving.

Admittedly, those efforts have been sporadic, frantic, motivated by depression, or something along those lines.

I have watched The Biggest Loser every season, sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of ice cream, with determination to get serious.

I have done "boot camp" at the YMCA, and been cheered on by the very people who, when I came to the first class, looked at me with disdain, no doubt thinking, "Well, here's the fat chick. SHE'LL never make it." Then when I came back for class after class, realized I was sticking to it.

Then when the class was over, I went back to the couch.

I have cried many tears about my weight and general lack of fitness. I don't want to cry anymore. I want to take control.

Back in January I went on a cruise for my sister-in-law's wedding, where I met her best friend. On the cruise, she took an opportunity to speak to me about my weight. I have heard it all.

"You'd be so beautiful, if you lost a few pounds, or a hundred."
"Do it for your children."
"Do it for yourself."
yada, yada....

Well, she told me something I'd never heard before.

"I was 20 years old when I lost my mother because of her obesity. Please don't leave your children without their mother."

Ouch.

Then, to make it a one-two punch, my husband told me that he's lost without me and really, really doesn't want to be alone.

Double ouch.

So I came home and went to the doctor to see what I could do. I was pretty set on having surgery to help me lose my excess weight. I had already talked to her about it, and she was on board way back when, but I had chickened out and gone all ostrich about my weight again, burying my head in the sand, while softening the blow with oreo cookies and drowning my pain in milk.

This time I wasn't going to do that again. She told me to start researching my insurance requirements, and she'd start documenting my weight loss efforts again. Meanwhile, she suggested I begin taking MIC Ultra injections and eating a low carb diet. And she put me on a daily injectable blood sugar regulator, called Victoza.

As I was doing the insurance legwork, to my amazement, my weight started slipping off. The shots, coupled with the low carb diet, were working. So I decided to keep doing it. Pretty soon, people started noticing and commenting. Encouragement poured in. 40-45 lbs later, I quit my very physical job and my weight loss stalled.

No exercise = no weight loss...

Duh.

Plus, the budget no longer supported the cost of the weekly MIC Ultra injections.

The carbs crept back in...

The pounds crept back on...

And I said, "NO!!"

So, now, thanks to a side job and a compassionate sister, who wants me to be around for a while, I'm back at it. I gained back 10 of the pounds I had lost, but I'm working out now with a trainer 4-5 days a week, and she's a pusher.

I have somewhere around 100 pounds to lose, which seems quite impossible, but there you have it. Sometime soon, I'll post a widget with some sort of visual aid to help me see my goal, and watch my progress. You know, when I get techno-savvy, or when pigs fly, whichever comes first...

Current weight: 258.

So, who's with me?