I spent time praising Him for being the kind of God whose thoughts are beyond my own, but still feeling very unworthy.
Then I turned on my audio book of the Bible I listen to on my way to work. Gregory Peck picked up where we had left off the last time, which was in II Corintians chapter 12.
Now, I want you to know that I am not faithful in my quiet time, and it may be a cop-out for me to listen to the Bible on audio book, but it's just how I spend some of my morning commutes. It has been a while since I have turned it on, and I have drifted away from my dedication to it. It should come as no surprise that I have lost steam in the battle of my weight loss.
Coincidence? I think not.
Meanwhile, chapter 12...
Paul's writing is usually pretty much over my head, but there are bits that jump out at me, such as this morning's passage. Paul was talking about how he didn't want people to think of him more highly than they ought, and explaining how he had a "thorn in the flesh" that he had prayed three times for God to remove from him. He doesn't tell what that thorn is, whether it be some physical ailment, or spiritual struggle, or even a straight-up sin that he was troubled by. It obviously doesn't matter, in the eternal scheme of things, because what matters is the response he received from the Lord.
9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Let me tell you, friends, this came to me this morning, just like a tangible hug from the Father. I immediately burst into tears. You know: the ugly cry. And laughter bubbled up through it all. My weakness is where God is glorified! He takes pleasure in being the only One who can forgive me and extend grace when I fall flat on my face. He is never surprised or disappointed. He is never disgusted by me being human. I think He must be sad as He waits for me to look back up from my mess and cry out for Him, but His love is always right there waiting.